Advice about Advice??

I know, I know. I've been M.I.A. for the past month. I apologize if I've made you lose faith in my blog-writing predictability. I will promise to make once-a-week blog-writing one of my New Year's Resolutions. I do have good excuses... most of them attributed to our little angel. Bella decided it was time to start waking up numerous times throughout the night - just in time for our trip to The States. Fantastic. We were looking forward to a few nights out, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Oh well. I suppose that's what parenthood is about. We'll make do (and save money too!)
What else has happened this past month??? Hmm... Bella has started pulling herself up and getting in to everything. She doesn't think she needs to hold on with two hands (or even one hand occasionally) and that makes for some pretty nasty bumps on the noggin.

What I've learned this past month

I suppose I mainly spent my month learning a lot about being a mom. The most important thing I've learned is that parenthood can be extremely difficult and sometimes you just need to talk to someone who can listen, and listen well. I found myself completely desperate and in tears after a week of struggling to get her to fall asleep, only to have her wake up 20 minutes later. I'm seriously lacking support here, and it meant a lot to me to have my friends and family back home encouraging me and telling me, "you're doing just fine. Trust yourself. This is temporary. We're here for you."
I think one of the hardest things about being a new parent (besides learning to type with one hand) is the moment when things start going hay-wire and your parenting philosophy is put to the test. Alex and I have decided that we don't want to use the Ferber method of letting your baby "cry it out". I know it's probably the most common thing to do, and I have no problem with other people doing it, but we choose to use other methods instead. Of course, the Ferber method is the easiest thing to do because it gets the job done quickly. But, after reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, we're trying a step-by-step approach that requires an ENORMOUS amount of effort and energy from us at the moment, but in the end, we hope we accomplish a sounder sleep without too much undue stress. I bring this up because I have about a bizzilion friends who are pregnant at the moment with baby #1 and I wanted to share something I've learned:

If you feel strongly about something, stick to your guns. Follow your intuition. There will always be someone, a friend even, who will tell you that what you are doing is "wrong." Hailey said it best when she said, "there is no RIGHT way in parenting. " It's good to be open to helpful ideas and some moms are really good about sharing ideas, but avoiding unsolicited advice. Most people appreciate helpful ideas that start like, "Have you tried.." or, "I did... when Jebediah was just a lad" It's much nicer than hearing, "You need to..." or "Why are you doing that" or, "What THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!!" (Ok, no one has ever used that last remark, but sometimes tone of voice and expression speak louder than words.)I've learned that parenting isn't easy, and instead of judging each other and making snide comments about how So and So is undoubtedly screwing up his kids beyond repair, we should be supporting each other. Even if we don't choose the same techniques or follow the same philosophy, we all need someone who will be there just to listen and say, "you're doing just fine...." or "Have you tried..." That's one helpful idea my friend, Esther, gave me (and she's usually full of good ideas).

The last thing I've learned is that after a terribly long week of failing miserably what you really need is someone to say to you, "Go have some time for yourself. I'll watch the baby for a couple hours." AAAAHHH! Heaven.