Yesterday I had a conversation with one of my students/friends about reading in another language. I finally finished reading "The Shadow of the Wind" in English, even though it was originally written by a Spanish man named Carlos Ruiz Zafón, and commented that I had attempted to read it in its original form, but found that the beauty of the language was completely lost when I did. Plus, there were expressions and slang that I didn't understand, leaving pockets of blanks throughout the story. He told me that when he reads in English, even though he usually understands what he's reading, he never really feels like he gets "inside" the book. He's just following along from the outside.
That conversation warped into a new conversation about living abroad in a country where the native language is different from yours. When I tried to explain how it felt to me, living in Spain, the book reference came back. It's the same feeling I get living here. I understand what's going on, and I follow along from the outside, but that's where I remain. I never really get inside. I always feel like an outsider. I don't know if it's possible that this is a common feeling amongst foreigners. Maybe that's why it's so common for them to band together and start their own little community. I really have no idea. But this is the way it feels for me living here.
Having a Spanish-American daughter who will someday (if all goes well) be bilingual, is a trip in itself. I have read up on living in a bilingual household and I have also been fortunate enough to know quite a few bilingual families. Typically, the first language that tends to emerge is that of the parent who is with the children most of the time.. hence English in our case. I had been waiting and waiting for those English words to come. Paquita, Alex's mother, would often say things like, "She said 'ya esta'!!" and I was always thinking, "yeah sure she did..." Imagine my surprise on my birthday when she said 'hola' as clear as day.
Well, she is around her Spanish grandparents all the time, and I always tell her to say 'hola' to everyone we meet on the streets. I guess I just needed to be patient. So I calmly waited for her first English word to come. "Leche", "papá", "mama" "yaya" "agua", "upa"...but only more Spanish words came. Where were the English words?? Then one afternoon, while we were walking down the street, she just blurted it out.
"Woof"!
Yes, she barks in English. Spanish dogs do not say "woof", you see? They say "guau guau". So we finally got a word! Later, we got some more, "doggie", "nana" (banana and Nana) "Bapa"(grandpa), "Ari", "Aia" (Gaia) and "cheese". It seems that because she lives here and is surrounded by Spanish outside of the home, she is picking up that language easier.
When we move back to the US, that is when the true challenge will begin. Will Alex be able to consistently speak in Spanish with the kids? We'll see... Our plan is to speak Spanish at home as well as having Alex regularly speak to them in Spanish. I've seen and heard some crazy stories, though, so I'm not going to be overly optimisic. I recently met an American lady who has been living here for over 30 years. She has always spoken to her two children in English, but she never insisted that they answer her back in English. It's the most incredible thing, she speaks to her, now grown, children in English and they answer her in Spanish. They can speak English, but they speak with a Spanish accent.
I suppose I never fully understood what I was getting myself into when I decided to come to Spain. Romaticism in your mid twenties can make you do spontaneous and outrageous things. Of course I don't regret my decisions. I love my husband and my little pip squeak, and life is positively more colorful, challenging, and amusing than in my monolingual days.
I've attached a video of Bella looking through some books (take a look at the MOUNTAIN of books on the floor!). You will hear her say "woof" (I think she's referring to the little teddy bear in the book) and she also says "hola". At the moment, her favorite word is "agua" and she makes sure to point it out whenever: she sees fountains, the sea, someone drinking from a water bottle, if she gets wet, if it rains, when she hears splashing in the pool... etc.
Will she feel betrayed? Will it hurt her little heart? Will she throw more fits? Will she withdraw, or maybe she'll just want to be my little helper and fall in love with her sister at first glance (I hope I hope I hope). Then I worry about Baby #2. I know I won't be able to give her nearly as much attention as I have given Bella, and I know she will be fine, but what really boggles my mind is how am I going to love anything as much as I love Bella? 
How is that humanely possible? I know it is. I know parents love all of their children equally (or at least, that's what I've been lead to believe, even though I know I'm my mom's favorite ;-)), but it's just unimaginable for me.
So, for those of you that have already been gone through this situation, how did you get through it and do you have any tips for making the transition easier on the first born and on a really sensitive mommy? I know we'll get through this, but I have to admit that the entire thing is a big mystery to me - one that will only make sense after it all transpires.
