Julietta Skye

One week ago, March 4th, my baby girl was born. I can't believe it's been a week. I can't believe the anticipation is over. I can't believe I made it through labor and I actually enjoyed the experience like I thought I would. Here is my story. It's long so take it slowly. Read it in bits if you need to. I wrote this for you, Julietta, so you will know how much I love you, and I wrote this for me, so I will never forget how strong I was on that day, and so I will always remember the small details of that incredible experience.

Last Pregnancy pic. 40 weeks to the day.

3 am Thursday morning I woke up with slight contractions. The second they started I knew that they were different from what had been experiencing before. They were more painful and lasted longer, and I immediately knew that it was the real thing. Bella had just climbed into bed with me and Alex had just got home, so I waited in bed while Bella fell back asleep and then made my way downstairs to make the announcement to Alex. I was feeling pretty wired and excited, but this wasn't the first time I had thought that I might be in labor so Alex was remarkably calm when he started timing my contractions while I tidyied up, put the champagne in the fridge to chill, took out the frozen cookie dough and put out the candles. Turns out the contractions were coming steadily - about every three to four minutes, but they weren't lasting more than 25 seconds. We decided to just pay attention and see if they progressed and I continued about my business, making the room comfy and calming, just in case.

Peaceful ambiance and an ENORMOUS pool.

Around 5am, the contractions started to get more painful and were consistently lasting around 30 seconds, so I called my midwife, Teresa, to let her know she would have to be calling in sick to work. I took this opportunity to send out a few text messages and to call my parents to let them know Baby Gouda was on her way.

By six o'clock Teresa and Sandra arrived together. It was obvious - I was definitely in labor. I was getting to the point of having to hum and make noise through the contractions. Teresa checked me and I was 3 centimeters dilated. "Only three centimeters?!" I said in disbelief. I found the most comfortable position for me was either to get on my hands and knees and lay my head against something, or lay up against the birthing ball. I had read a lot about getting through contractions and I knew that the more tense I got, the more painful the contractions would be. I tried to keep my body from clenching up and I knew that keeping my mouth relaxed was extremely important. The first contraction I had after Teresa and Sandra arrived was an indication for me of how this whole thing was going to go. One of them (I had my eyes closed) came up and, without saying a word, started massaging my back while I hummed my way through the pain. It was comfortable and soothing and I knew I had made the right choice being at home.

Teresa massaging my back

Labor is a pretty amusing situation. There are moments of excruciating pain - moments you don't know if you'll be able to make it through, and then, the pain goes away and you feel completely fine. It's so weird! One moment I was doubled over, making up chants and humming myself silly, the next minute I was up talking about what kind of juice I'd like to drink. In a pain-free moment, I felt the desire to go up and check on Bella. Of course, three minutes later, I was back on the birthing ball humming. At 6:30, though, she woke up and Alex brought her down all dressed and ready to go play with the Ya Yos. She was so excited. I'm sure she thought there a party going on. I was worried how she'd react to my next contraction (especially with all the noises I was making), but she was so calm! She even scratched my back and gave me kisses.My sweet girl talking me through the contractions

Soon after the Ya Yos came to get Bella, I started feeling nauseas. Now, I HATE throwing up, so I really tried to ignore the feeling and hoped it would just go away. No such luck. Minutes later there I was with my head deep inside the toilet, puking my guts out. Yuck! It was too stuffy inside for me after that, so we decided to get out of the house and take a little walk before all the neighbors woke up. Alex and I walked around the block and he held me and hugged me through the contractions. It was around 7:30. The sun was out. It was a beautiful day for our daughter to be born.

While on our walk it crossed my mind that I didn't know how much longer this pain was going to go on. There was a moment there when a slight wave of panic came over me and I imagined wonderful painkillers and numbing epidurals. It dawned on me how powerful fear can be during labor. If I didn't let the pain control me, it was manageable, but the moment I started thinking that I wouldn't be able to bear it, the moment I started worrying about two or four hours into the future and all the what ifs, I started to doubt myself and my determination began to wane. I decided then and there that I was going to take the pain, one contraction at a time.

From here on out, things get a bit fuzzy. I felt drugged, completely peaceful and "in a zone" between the pain. When they talk about labor being a natural high, I guess this is what they mean. Once at home again, I labored for a while on my birthing ball and then eventually, apparently around 8:30, I made a b-line for the pool. Teresa checked me again and I was at 6 centimeters. This is when I finally understood about the notorious "pain of labor". Ouch!Sandra taking care of me in the birthing pool

At this point the contractions became extremely strong. I was lucky to have someone there holding my hand or pouring warm water over me. I especially remember Alex there, holding me and letting me squeeze his hand or gnaw at his shoulder to get through the contractions. There were still spaces between the contractions and I remember thinking that I still had a long way to go until I hit transition. I didn't think I'd be able to make it, the pain was especially intense and I couldn't help but push toward the end of each contraction. This scared me because I knew I couldn't possibly be completely dilated if the contractions weren't one ontop of the other.

Getting through the pain

All of a sudden, though, I was hit with a mixture of uncomfortable pain and the undeniable urge to push. I started moving around wildly in the pool, and moaning... and wondering if the neighbors could hear me. I was LOUD! When Teresa and Sandra hurried over, I calmed down. They were completely relaxed and never once told me what to do. They trusted that I already knew, so I just did what was natural and began pushing. I think I pushed through about two contractions when Teresa told me reach down and feel the baby's head. What a surreal moment! It gave me the motivation I needed to push her the rest of the way out, which I did in about two more pushes. And then the most incredible feeling in the world - freedom from pain and an instant rush of love that swept over me. This was the moment I has missed with my last labor and delivery. This was the moment that made all the pain worth it - that affirmed I could do anything. This was my moment. I looked down and saw this tiny white body in the water, and then she was in my arms. Julietta Skye was here and I loved her instantly.

My incredible moment

All I could do was kiss her and say "is she ok?" over and over and over. She didn't cry. She just held me and looked around a bit. Teresa kept saying "she's PERFECT!".

Alex and I amazed

When I got out of the pool so Teresa could deliver the placenta, she checked me and saw that I hadn't torn at all. No stitches needed. After birth pains were seriously painful, though!

We love her so much

After marveling over our sweet baby for about an hour, Alex, Julietta and I made our way upstairs to rest in bed. Julietta had started breastfeeding without any problems and now it was time for all of us to sleep. I slept for maybe an hour and then had to alert the rest of the world about the arrival of our little miracle. We called Paquita and Jesus and told them to bring Arabella to meet her sister.

Beautiful Julietta Skye

I had made her a Big Sis crown that she was wearing when she walked in the door. She walked right up to her little sister and said "upa mama" which meant she wanted to hold her. I put her in her lap and she looked at her in awe. It was amazing to see. She knew exactly how to hold her and how to touch her gently.

Bella holding Julietta. What a lucky girl to have such an amazing big sister.

While I was pregnant we read the book "We have a Baby!" over and over. It goes like this: "We have a baby... a baby to hold, a baby to kiss, a baby to take care of, a baby to love..." and then the very last line is "a baby who loves us". While Bella was holding her little sister, she looked up at me and said, "US". I nearly burst into tears.

My sweet girl in her Big Sis crown

And now we are a family of four. So far it has been easy since Alex was off for a week and so was Paquita. We're getting initiated into reality now, though, and I'm a bit nervous to tell you the truth... but I'm still on a high. I'm still so happy to be the proud mommy of two beautiful, amazing girls who I love fiercely. God, I love my family. I feel so blessed.