It’s my mom’s birthday today. She’s 60. That’s a lot of years old! My mom likes to tell me that we are polar opposites. In fact, she never misses a chance to remind me of this every time we disagree. She’s right. We are different in many ways, especially when it comes to things like politics and our worldviews. I guess it’s always bothered me a little, though, because, despite our differences, I think I’m a lot like my mom, and more importantly, in the many ways that I’m not, I want to be like her, especially as a mother. I sincerely hope I can be.
As a kid I thought the world of my mom. She was in the realm of superheroes. She was fun and funny. She sang a lot, and smiled all the time and hugged us every chance she got.
As teenagers, my mom knew how to play it cool. She always gave us space to make our own decisions and do our own thing, but the second we needed her, we were her entire world, and nothing else mattered. It all could wait.
As an adult, my mom became more than a mom. She became my friend.
There are many things you realize about yourself once you become a mother, especially the way you treated yours when you were a teenager! (Sorry Mom!) I constantly think of all the things I want to teach Arabella and how I want to instil in her deep moral values, above all kindness to all things, and, of course, an insatiable love of life. I imagine the person she’ll become one day… and then I think about how I turned out. It makes me wonder about all of the things my mom imagined for me. I bet she rocked me and while she touched my little fingers and held my unwavering gaze, she imagined greatness for me. I bet never in a million years she imagined that we’d turn out to be “polar opposites”! It’s something I think of quite often these days that I could never really fathom before. How difficult it must be to love someone so much, it actually hurts your heart just to imagine losing her, and then have her grow up challenging you, disagreeing with you, and doing things completely differently than the way you would do them. What I still don’t understand, and have years to find out, is how you manage to do this with grace and love. When your daughter does something that completely baffles you (which my poor mom has had to endure A LOT of) and what you really want to do is scream and yell, “HOW COULD YOU TURN OUT THIS WAY??!!” you are supportive and helpful and try to be as understanding as possible. If to my horror, Arabella comes home one day, following in her Tia Irene’s footsteps with a habit, a bible and a crucifix, I hope I can be as considerate and gentle as my mom is, and support her despite my reservations. To me, that is true greatness and pure love.
My mom has had to fight for her life more than once to remain a part of ours. Every time something happens in my life, be it glory or defeat, elation or devastation, I call my mom. Even when I know that she will think I’m crazy for the decision I’m about to make I call her. Even when I know I’ll undoubtedly hear the famous, “ well… we are very different, Sarah…” I have to share the news with her. I’m so thankful she fought so hard to be here. It’s funny how you never really stop needing your mom.
Mom, if you are reading this, I want you to know that I wish I could be there to spend this momentous occasion with you. I love you very much and hope you know how amazing I think you are, especially as a mom (I mean, look how incredible I turned out!). Happy 60th Birthday, Mom! You can bet I’ll be asking you for A LOT of advice during those teenage years! YIKES! Here’s to another 60!!!
As teenagers, my mom knew how to play it cool. She always gave us space to make our own decisions and do our own thing, but the second we needed her, we were her entire world, and nothing else mattered. It all could wait.
As an adult, my mom became more than a mom. She became my friend.
There are many things you realize about yourself once you become a mother, especially the way you treated yours when you were a teenager! (Sorry Mom!) I constantly think of all the things I want to teach Arabella and how I want to instil in her deep moral values, above all kindness to all things, and, of course, an insatiable love of life. I imagine the person she’ll become one day… and then I think about how I turned out. It makes me wonder about all of the things my mom imagined for me. I bet she rocked me and while she touched my little fingers and held my unwavering gaze, she imagined greatness for me. I bet never in a million years she imagined that we’d turn out to be “polar opposites”! It’s something I think of quite often these days that I could never really fathom before. How difficult it must be to love someone so much, it actually hurts your heart just to imagine losing her, and then have her grow up challenging you, disagreeing with you, and doing things completely differently than the way you would do them. What I still don’t understand, and have years to find out, is how you manage to do this with grace and love. When your daughter does something that completely baffles you (which my poor mom has had to endure A LOT of) and what you really want to do is scream and yell, “HOW COULD YOU TURN OUT THIS WAY??!!” you are supportive and helpful and try to be as understanding as possible. If to my horror, Arabella comes home one day, following in her Tia Irene’s footsteps with a habit, a bible and a crucifix, I hope I can be as considerate and gentle as my mom is, and support her despite my reservations. To me, that is true greatness and pure love.
My mom has had to fight for her life more than once to remain a part of ours. Every time something happens in my life, be it glory or defeat, elation or devastation, I call my mom. Even when I know that she will think I’m crazy for the decision I’m about to make I call her. Even when I know I’ll undoubtedly hear the famous, “ well… we are very different, Sarah…” I have to share the news with her. I’m so thankful she fought so hard to be here. It’s funny how you never really stop needing your mom.
Mom, if you are reading this, I want you to know that I wish I could be there to spend this momentous occasion with you. I love you very much and hope you know how amazing I think you are, especially as a mom (I mean, look how incredible I turned out!). Happy 60th Birthday, Mom! You can bet I’ll be asking you for A LOT of advice during those teenage years! YIKES! Here’s to another 60!!!
